The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning
by Simply Lily
Summary: It’s not right that he just died like that. She deserves a goodbye, and the ability to choose her destiny would be nice, too. Or, in shorter, more articulate words, Rose gets closure, finally. 10Rose, 9Rose, but not like THAT. Spoilers for season 2.


**Disclaimer: **I'm so sure there's no need for this. If only I had the force of will to properly read the rules of Fanfiction, you'd see no one is really deluded enough to think anyone owns anything. Oh, _fine_. Fine. Make me say it. Pour salt on my wounds. _Nothing _is mine. You happy now? Look, you've made me cry. ::hugs teddy with trench coat and glasses and sobs::

**Spoilers**: Takes place after 2x06 (The Age of Steel), but has ambiguous references to the entire of season 2.

**Summary: **It's not right that he just _died_ like that. She deserves a goodbye, and the ability to choose her destiny would be nice, too. Or, in shorter, more articulate words, Rose gets closure, _finally_.

**Ships: **10\Rose, 9\Rose, but not in the dirty way you're thinking about.

**Credits: **Inspired by the beautiful fanfic Times Echo by YamiKITG (I hope my version's deffirent enough for it not to be theft. If so, let me know and I'll gladly step down and apologize).

-

**The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning**

_What?_

_You're so different._

_I'm the new New Doctor._

Rose woke up to the familiar hum of the TRADIS, her personal lullaby most of the time. Her watch said eight hours had passed, a good, healthy sleep. She used to look for a window. Two months it took to get rid of _that_ habit. Other habits took more time, like getting dressed for work and going outside to fetch a newspaper.

She showered, long and leisurely like a woman that rushed to nowhere, and wasn't surprised in the least to find the Doctor sitting on her bed, flipping through a magazine. He was a little blurry on the whole _boundaries _issue, which was why she got used to towel robes instead of just short, skimpy towels, after several _awkward_ incidents.

"Hello!" he chirped.

Short hair, and then suddenly thick, shampoo hair. Big ears, cute glasses. Different teeth. Eventually, they were just the same, her two Doctors, with that _hello_ of theirs, only now with a faint Scottish accent.

"Morning, Doctor," she greeted, going through her closet.

He fiddled with her nightstand, picking up things and examining them, again ignoring her privacy or personal space. She was so thankful for not having a journal. Eventually he settled on a book she bought at the last stop on earth, some epic novel, and started blabbering about to no one in particular. He thought it was an unreliable portrayal of the era, that the _plague_ would take care of that problem, and like anyone would have time for _that_ with the revolution going on, sad ending. Yeah, and thanks for ruining that one, she thought. What was she gonna do with a sad ending, anyway.

_Sad ending_, she remembered that from somewhere. Said in a northern accent, the second time they met, with proper coffee and plastic hands trying to kill them. If she closed her eyes tight, they were pretty much the same, but it was hard to think of the same as the _same_ same. More like brothers, or best friends, exchanging her from hand to hand.

-

_Can you change back?_

_Do you want me to?_

_Yeah._

_Oh._

_Can you?_

_No. __Do you want to leave?_

_Do you want me to?_

_No!_

After the initial shock of regeneration, after he wrapped him mind around his new personality, urges, slightly different opinions but not really, he looked at Rose and loved her just the same as before, if not more so. Broke the rules of time, broke into the heart of TARDIS, absorbed the entire of time, just to keep him safe. Destroying the Dalek race seemed like just a bonus in her eyes. In her mind it was all for him. She didn't even acknowledge that she was a hero.

Rose Tyler, defender of the earth.

He thought she needed a doctor. He was her doctor, and he kissed her even though he technically didn't have to. How unethical of him.

"Were you serious back there, about not knowing who you were?" she asked afterwards, removing traces of dead aliens from her hair. "D'you really not know?"

He chuckled, hopping about, still jazzed, "What, do you think I just talk for my own amusement?"

She flashed him their special smile, first time in ages, "Absolutely."

He grinned back, somewhat relieved that she had moved to teasing now. "Well, I wasn't. Everything feels different. The same, but different."

The look on her face told him that maybe he should have said something before, about the possibility of regeneration. Maybe if she knew then she wouldn't be like this, awkward like in a first meeting, and after everything they've been through. His new hearts broke apart in his chest. She looked at him like a stranger, like he hadn't been _right there_ with her throughout everything.

"How d'you mean?" she asked, making conversation, getting to know him. "What's different?"

He shrugged, "Dunno, guess we'll find out in time. That is, if you're staying."

Rose lowered her eyes, smile turning meek. "I'll stay if you… give me some time to get used to this. I mean, I can see you're him, I guess, I just can't see you're _you_ yet, you know?" she tilted her head, asking for understanding.

A cheeky grin brightened his face, "Of course. Tell you what, we'll go to Barcelona, do something domestic. A vacation! Let's have one of those beach vacation things! No bathing suits for me, though. Be too weird. What d'you say?"

"Start the car, I'll get _my_ bathing suit." Winking, she added, "Just because you're an old git, doesn't mean I can't get to have any fun."

Rose in a bathing suit, what an outrageous concept. He wondered how his old self would feel about that, because his new one was younger and had urges he couldn't quite control. Never mind. She wasn't leaving, that was all he cared about. Not leaving. Lust he could handle, he was no 900 year old schoolboy.

-

She came back, dressed now. He was lying on the bed, reading through the book, but he bounced up as soon as he spotted her, smiling from cheek to cheek. Intimately.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

She nodded, "Where to? The Witch Hunts, maybe?"

He frowned comically, "Really? Do you want to? Never been there before, don't like the idea. But if you want…" her wish was still his command, "Though, if I know you at all, you'd be up on the stake twenty minutes after we land."

Laughing, she nodded. "S'ppose, but 'f I know _you_ any, it'd be all your fault." She wisely evaded his path, knowing full well that this regeneration was not averse to merciless bodily harm, especially tickling. They shared a laugh, their special laugh. "So, where are we going?"

The Doctor shrugged, rubbing his hands together with uncontainable glee, "Dunno, just let the wheel spin. We've landed somewhere, but I was waiting for you to check. Thought we'd let the TARDIS surprise us this time."

"Great, even more trouble," she said, rolling her eyes, ridiculously touched that he'd waited for her before checking, like she mattered, which, she knew she did, but still, nice to be reminded.

"Rose!" he yelped, placing a hand to his heart, "You wound me. It's not like I go out _looking_ for trouble."

"Can't believe you just gone and said that out loud. We're absolutely going to die today," she murmured as he held the door opened for her, letting her through.

They crouched over the consoles, and Rose's mind drifted away from the Doctor's mumbling and calculations, focusing instead on the soft green light that peeked through the heart of the TARDIS. There was a comfort in it that sometimes felt like whispered singing in her head, like the TARDIS was telling her that everything would always be alright if she just found her way back to her, and the Doctor.

The entire Time Vortex in her head and that stream of singing that kept her focused. Save the Doctor, save Jack, save the human race. _Concentrate, _Rose, _concentrate_ on the now. I'm here and he's here, _relax._

Sometimes, when the Doctor wasn't looking, Rose whispered to the TARDIS and swore it hummed in response. He must have known, he was sensitive to these things, maybe even a little psychic, and he would smile a little wider when he walked in, conveniently _after_ she was done. Not mocking, just proud and understanding.

A horrifying alarm suddenly roared through the ship, startling them both into each other's personal space. "I thought we already landed?" Rose asked, crouching further into him as the TARDIS started to shake violently.

"Thought so, too," the Doctor said, gripping the console and her hand.

Something lurched and they were thrown against the wall and the TARDIS stated to spin uncontrollably. The Doctor screamed her name, as he did when he was in distress, even though she was right there next to him, and the last thought to go through her head was that no matter how bad a situation gets, there is no need to shout.

-

_Can I just say, traveling with you, I love it._

_Me, too._

"So, how do you like me now that the vacation is over and we'll be back to getting into trouble tomorrow?"

Rose lingered her gaze at the view for one just more moment, dinosaurs and pretty mountains, earth before she was even an idea of an obscure concept, and turned to him, smiling serenely. "I like you just fine, thanks," she said.

"How long are you gonna stay with me?" he asked, just checking.

She smiled and he smiled, and it was almost a kiss. "_Forever_."

-

Sound and feeling slowly came back to her, before sight, as her eyes stayed insistently shut. Steam hissing and cool metal against her back. Someone held her hand, a familiar hold, but not the Doctor's, or… well, maybe the Doctor's.

"Come on, Rose. Open your eyes."

That was definitely the Doctor, but something was terribly, terribly wrong with his voice. The TARDIS hummed under her, helping her into consciousness, as the grip on her hand softened and someone was rubbing circles between her thumb and her index finger. With a struggle, she opened her eyes. It took a moment for the blurry face looking down on her to focus, but then it did, and she screamed, scrabbling back in fear.

"My God," she whispered. "I've gone mad. Or… to the past? No, definitely mad."

Big ears, leather jacket, short hair, crazy smile. So many details she'd repressed, changed in her mind for new ones (new teeth, big hair, _sideburns_). And he was _right_ _there_ even after she blinked and blinked again.

"Of course it's me, Rose. Honestly, what is the matter with you?" he helped her up. "Oh, you've cut your hair, how lovely! When d'you have time to do that?" Without waiting for an answer, he hopped to the console, sonic screwdriver at the ready, "Never mind, suits you well. Have me a TARDIS to fix. I don't understand what happened."

Rose started to follow him unsurely, waiting to wake up or at least for an explanation, but both halted at the sound of another groan.

"Who's that? Who are you?" the Doctor, big eared one, fired anxiously, moving to shield Rose out of instinct, "How'd he get here? How'd you get here?"

The new Doctor, tenth of his kind, groaned as he rose to his feet. "Oh, this is just _brilliant_," he spat at the sight of his former self, "What are _you_ doing here? You're dead. Well, you're _me_."

"What the hell is going on?" She didn't know who to direct the question to, exactly. Sense said the new Doctor would know more, but the old one just radiated authority. "_Someone_ please explain? Is he… are you real?"

Nine – she had to call him that, or else her head hurt – straightened his back in indignation, "'Course I'm real! What sort of question is that? Are _you_ real?"

Rose looked back and forth between them both before settling on Ten, searching for affirmation. "We must have crossed timelines somehow," he said quietly. "Just breath, Rose. This has happened before."

Rose turned back to her old Doctor, whom she loved at first sight, breathing heavily, "Oh, my God," Taking slow, terrified steps, she closed the gap between them. "It's really you," she breathed, throwing her arms around him wildly.

Nine hugged her back, frowning. "I've regenerated," he realized suddenly, his arms tightening around her shoulders without realizing. "I've regenerated… into a _pretty_ _boy_!"

Rose laughed, burying her face in his jumper, inhaling deeply, memorizing what she'd forgotten.

"Oi! I'm not a pretty boy!" Ten protested, trying to pretend he wasn't jealous of the fact that Rose showed no sign of ever letting go of his former. "Well, I'm very pretty, but I'm _not_a pretty boy!"

Nine rolled his eyes, and apparently chose to ignore him as much as possible from then on. He broke the embrace, pushing Rose back slightly to get a better look at her, "Well, look at you, Rose Tyler! You cut your hair! You look _fantastic_! How far into the future are you?"

Rose shrugged, smiling sheepishly at the compliment. She wrapped an arm around his waist and he around her shoulder and she was simply _overjoyed_, "Dunno. I mean, are we in the past, or are you in the future?" Couldn't care less, really, just make it never stop.

"Excellent Question!" both Doctors chirped in unison.

They looked at the console for a long time, flipping switches and levers around and Rose still clung to the Doctor, who didn't seem to mind indulging her. "Huh," Ten said finally, "Seems my TARDIS and yours are coexisting over each other. Where's your Rose, I wonder? Out and about, causing trouble?"

"Oi! It's not like I go out _looking_ for trouble," Rose mimicked him cruelly.

Ten looked at her, disguising envy with annoyance. At least she still remembered he existed, enough to address him, make jokes, even. It was normal, he supposed, that she'd react like this. Not like he didn't almost go insane when they met Sarah Jane, but still, it was _him_. He was there, and he was the same man. Almost.

"She's with _Jackie_," Nine said, and the two Doctors shared a groan.

"Right, then," Ten said, getting out his own sonic screwdriver, "Let's fix this."

"Alright, see what the new me can do," Nine answered, equally condescending. And then, more pleasantly, "Rose, some tea, maybe? I've had a long day, Satellite 5 and kicking your boyfriend out and all."

Rose seemed reluctant, "D'you promise not to disappear before I come back?"

He kissed her cheek, "I promise you, Rose Tyler. Now go on. And get some cookies too, you know, the kind with the…"

"Ball-bearings on top, I know," she said, smiling at her new Doctor, whom she loved the first time when he was strapped in outlandish jim-jams. "They're genius, yeah, heard the speech." They shared a smile, and she went back to Nine, "I'll be _right back_, so don't you move."

-

_Unless… you could come with me._

_Is it always this dangerous?_

_Yeah._

"Why'd you pick me? Out of all the people in the world, why me?"

He grinned madly, tugging at his leather jacket, "What d'you mean _why_? Because you were _fantastic_! I could see you were a special one, Rose Tyler. Not the best taste in boyfriends, but still, _special_."

"I was working in a _shop_," she huffed, disbelieving.

He laughed, "Yeah, but you said _students_, I loved that! Students dressed as shop window dummies, trying to take over Britain's shops, _fantastic_! Plus, you saved my life. Took out the Nestine consciousness in five minutes. _Brilliant_."

She giggled, flattered. The Doctor had a habit of throwing compliments around when he was joyful and hyperactive, unlike when he was in a bad mood, which was when he usually bad mouthed every species in the world that wasn't Time Lord. "I'm glad you came back for me, Doctor."

"Me, too."

-

An hour and a half in, and the Doctors made no progress whatsoever. Rose was starting to wonder what was so bad about the situation. If they could still travel, if they weren't stuck in time- and even if they were, there were worse situations. But she kept her tongue, knowing what reaction a suggestion like that would elicit from both men.

Something else ticked her brain, and this she did ask, "You said both TARDISes are trying to coexist. Does that mean _they're_ doing this? On purpose?"

Nine and Ten looked at her, impressed, and she tried not to blush. At some point they had moved from confusion and sarcastic remarks spat at each other to competing for her attention. Ten trying to prove he was not a consolation prize, and Nine trying to prove he was not replaceable, and they were both right, of course. But it was fun- for _her, _anyway.

"Good point, Rose," Ten said, sexily chewing on a pen.

"Didn't think of that. Still asking the questions, Rose?" Nine added, grinning with pride. _You turn out well_, he seemed to say.

Rose's chest swelled, "Everyday I wonder more and more how you'd survive without me."

They looked at her with a matching expression that said they wondered just the same thing.

"Why _would_ she do that?" Ten wondered aloud, shaking it off.

"Maybe she didn't," Nine said, because for him it was just an ordinary day, "Could be an accident. Anyway, we should try fixing it." He unscrewed a panel in the console, observing it intently. He went on into a complicated technical explanation that ultimately, Rose guessed from obscure understanding, meant he wanted to detach the two TARDISes from each other.

Ten looked outraged, "We can't do that, it could cause a breach! We could explode!"

Nine rolled his eyes, "Not if we divert the neuron flow, _pretty boy_."

They glared at each other, frustration and jealousy flowing freely around the room.

Rose smiled affectionately at them both, "Doctor… s, don't argue with yourselves, it can't be healthy."

Ten returned her smile, winking conspiratorially, "Oh, I don't know, it feels therapeutic."

"That's because you're _weird_," she shot back. "Figures you'd enjoy something like this."

From the sidelines, she could see Nine's neck stiffen.

Ten pouted, playfully bumping into her, "Why would you say that? That's _wou_nding."

"Oi!" Nine called, shoving Ten's hand away from the panel which, apparently, he was still working on. "You do that and we really _will_ implode!" He turned to Rose, directing his anger at her, finding that he couldn't control himself, "This pretty boy doesn't know what he's on about. But you're loving that I changed into him, don't you, Rose. You and your _stupid__pretty boys._"

Rose flinched at that hard edge he would so rarely use with her. Something ugly crawled up her throat and he wasn't even looking at her as he said that. How could he say that, even think that.

Ten sighed, "That, that's not… not… that's uncalled for, mate," he murmured at his predecessor.

Nine didn't look up at this, either, feeling the temperature drop. Even the TARDIS grumbled in displease. Rose had let him go eventually, but had settled herself firmly next to him, and he had taken to stroking her head whenever one of his hands were free. But now she looked at him with scorching disbelief and got up, immediately distancing herself.

He could feel it even without looking at her, disappointment rolling in waves. She headed towards the exit, never uttering a single word.

Well, that was unexpected. Rose just giving up like that, without a spat.

Ten sighed, "Oh, Rose, I… I mean, _he, _he didn't mean it…" She glanced at him briefly, but didn't stop. "Rose," he tried again, to no avail, and she was gone. "That was brilliant, elephant ears," he snarled at Nine, truly furious now. "I'd punch you, if I wasn't ultimately hitting myself."

"Oh, she'll get over it, she's a big girl," Nine huffed, a little condescendingly.

Ten gritted his teeth, fuming. "Oh, you're such an idiot. _I'm_ such an idiot."

Nine frowned, a little worried now, "What d'I do?" The TARDIS grumbled again, and he wanted to look, but he was roughly turned back to face his next incarnation and then roughly pushed backwards, hitting a pillar.

"She nearly left me!... us!"

"What?"

Ten gestured at himself and then at Nine, and back again, "Because I've changed into a _pretty boy_!"

Nine lowered his eyes, guilty and hating it, "Oh."

"Yes, _oh_. Git," Nine murmured under his breath, returning to the console, counting back from ten. "I'd apologize if I were you, but hey, what do I care? More she hates you, more she likes me," he paused, "I think. Who really knows how human psychology works. Tends to surprise. Hand me that thingy… I mean, the steino-magnetic, will you?"

Nine remained frozen, his eyes begging explanation.

Sighing, Ten took the tool himself, and, not looking at his former, murmured, "I can't tell you the specifics." Nine stiffened, waiting. Ten continued, "Let's just say it didn't go smoothly, the regeneration. She took it hard, at first. But she's Rose, she comes around. It's hard, but she… she's Rose. Still, weeks after I still caught her wishing I'd just… _magically _change back into you. Or that you'd turn up around the corner."

"Really?"

"Took forever to convince her I'm the Doctor. And then you come bouncing back," he exhaled noisily, "and I think, _Lord_, now I've got to win her over all over again now, but no, turns out you're an idiot Lucky me."

Nine lowered his eyes, regret sinking in. He hated seeing Rose hurting, and because of him. The good news was that the TARDIS was nowhere near being fixed, which meant he had plenty of time to fix the situation. "Excuse me, will you?"

-

_I could save the world, but lose you._

She's the one who ended up doing just that. She remembered everything now. He was smart, erasing her memories, but he slipped on the one detail he couldn't program because he didn't possess- _Jack_. Or more to the point, what happened to him.

After Christmas dinner, when Jackie and Mickey settled down to watch some Christmas movie, leaving the Doctor and Rose to do the dishes as punishment for visiting so rarely and almost bringing world destruction when they did.

Rose glanced at him from the corner of her eye, "Is this too domestic for you, Doctor?"

He shrugged, examining the plate he was drying as if it were a new sort of life form he wanted to take back to the TARDIS and analyze. "Actually, no," he said, "I don't understand what my former had against domestics. It's quite nice… if you don't overdo it, obviously."

She chuckled. He was so different, there was no fighting that. "Overdo? D'you mean, like, do it every day, sometimes more than once? Like normal people do after every meal?"

He flashed her a jubilant grin, his trademark, it would seem, and something the old Doctor did _on_ _occasion_ but this new one was bringing to new records. "Something like that, yeah. _That_ I still don't like. But this… this is nice."

She felt her insides warm, loving that he liked this side of her too, after an adventure is done and they're just lying back in Jackie's apartment, only now he's not counting the minutes to leave again.

There were some advantages to this new Doctor, she had to admit. Besides being painfully pretty, that is, and younger, at least in appearance and behavior. But, then, she was already starting to not grieve _her_ Doctor, and she promised herself she wouldn't do that, at least not for a few weeks, a month, maybe. He deserved to be grieved and remembered, even if that was the same man in front of her.

Which was why she cleared her throat and went back to her dishes, picturing giant ears and leather and eye-rolls as she spoke again, "Doctor?"

"Hmm?"

"What happened to Jack?"

Something of terror passed through his face, although too fleeting for her to notice. Jack, Jack, Jack. What had he programmed in her mind for Jack? Or did he just leave him out altogether? "He said he wanted to help create the new earth," he answered finally, glancing at her to see if that would stick.

"Oh, that's ni…" Rose started to say, before dropping the plate she was holding and buckling against the counter. The plate shattered, glass splattering about, but he didn't care and he jumped to her side, taking hold of her waist, holding her in place. She moaned into his chest, "No, he didn't. I can see him. He was dead… and then…"

The Doctor sighed, pain throbbing at his chest. He tried so hard to make her forget her own Genocide. "Rose-"

She ignored his words, but looked up at him, eyes dancing madly. "I remember! He was dead, and then he wasn't. I… I… there was singing. The TARDIS, it was singing to me, of night and day. And I just wanted him- _you_- safe. My Doctor."

He tossed the towel away as an afterthought, and came to cup her cheeks, whispering urgently, "Rose, don't do this. You're better off this way. Stop trying to remember. _Please_."

She wasn't listening. So clearly wasn't listening. Maybe if he were him, the other one, she would have listened.

"Rose," he tried again, begging. "Rose, please, _trust_ me."

"Why?"

The question stung more than it should have. "Because I'm the _Doctor _and I was there and I'm asking you. Please, stop."

"What happened?" Jackie asked, storming in. "We heard something brake." At the sight of the Doctor fondling her daughter's face, Jackie huffed disapprovingly, "Did you break something, Rose? Well, there's not need for the end of the world, Doctor. She's a big girl." _Get your old, perverted hands away from my daughter_, her demeanor screamed.

He let go as if burned, and Rose was left to wipe the tears rolling from her eyes. "It's nothing, mum. I'm fine. How's the movie?"

"You'd do well to come watch it with us, instead of crying here like a couple schoolgirls and breaking my dishes!" and with that, and a last puff of indignation, she left the kitchen, uncomfortable at the unsexual- mostly- intimacy she never quite got used to between her daughter and that old alien fart.

The Doctor, frowning at her use of the plural, touched his own cheeks and was surprised to find them suspiciously moist. He looked at Rose and she looked at him and she nodded, telling him without words that she would trust him, just this once.

They could go from there, as they did, and it took time, but she was trusting. Their relationship was different now, more flirtatious, he decided. Teasing, tickling, looks that dragged. Glimpses of lust she had with his old self when he wasn't being so fatherly as he sometimes chose to be, now increased and intensified.

"Would it be overdoing it to watch a Christmas movie?" she asked, voice careful and uncertain.

He smiled softly, "Not at all, Rose Tyler. Unless it's any version of _A Christmas Carol_. In that case, I'm going straight to the TARDIS and then straight to the nearest pit of hell I can find."

She giggled, accepting the fightin' hand he offered, once again. He'd stay for Christmas Carol even, make Jackie like him. Show her that he wasn't so bad.

-

He found her at the wardrobe area, absently going through clothes, old and new, his and hers. He could see his leather jacket hanged lifelessly next to a plaid scarf and umbrellas and colorful trousers. The sight made him sad to no end. He had faded from the world, a memory of an old life for the new Doctor and pretty soon a blurry recollection for Rose as well.

She would not forget him, this he knew, but she couldn't possibly remember _everything_. Every single moment of every day, like he could. She was only human, after all. Pretty soon, she'll start forgetting the little things, between the big adventures. Little moments that made them what they were.

"Rose?" he almost whispered.

She didn't turn around, merely stiffened.

"I'm sorry," he murmured.

"You're so different," she said, suddenly, just when he started to think this was not fixable. "It's so hard to get used to. And I know he's you, but I can't help it and I _miss_ you."

By that point tears were falling from her eyes, silent and heartbreaking. He wrapped her in a hug, pressed her against his chest, nuzzled her hair, making up for everything, all the lost time they'll never get back. She was his Rose and he left her, and he would be leaving her again, in a way, when the TARDIS was fixed.

Well, she knew he didn't _really_ leave her the first time, but he did ship her back home, and that was almost worse.

"I'm so sorry," he said again, softer this time.

She whimpered, "Don't be sorry, just come back."

His throat felt thick and confining. _I wish I could_, he wanted to say. _Never meant to leave_, but it would be so harmful and he felt an odd responsibility to the new version of him. So instead, he said, "I never left. I'm still right here, my ears are just smaller." He brought his mouth to her ear, humming the words into her for better impact, "I'm still with you, Rose."

Over and over, until the message stuck, until he believed it too. He is dead. There's nothing left of him but memories, and he realized that maybe he's meant to die next week, tomorrow, five minutes after getting back to his own TARDIS. How was he supposed to make it last with _his_ Rose?

And then, of course, she said something that made it obvious that she had heard nothing of what he'd been saying about _not _leaving her. "At least I get to say goodbye this time."

Rose Tyler, never _listens_.

"You thought it was so funny, blabbing about planets and no head and things when you should have been saying goodbye." She fixed him a determined look, stronger than he'd ever seen her, "Say goodbye now, Doctor."

He never hesitated, "Goodbye."

She thought it'd feel better, like closure, but it didn't. It just hurt all over again.

"Fixed it!" Ten jaunted, skipping inside. He smiled at her, proud with himself, "No imploding or anything! That Spock enough for you, Rose Tyler?"

True that no one made it sound better, but what was this fascination with her full name, anyway? Both of them took a fancy with the _le_ in Ty_le_r, always dragging it around, rolling it from their tongues. R-_ou_-se Ty-_le_-r.

"Guess you're not so useless after all," Nine admitted grudgingly, his tone cracked from tears.

Ten seemed alarmed, as if Nine's distress meant that things got really bad between them. And he had hoped for a quick goodbye and some tears. He cleared his throat, "You were right about the neuron flow, though. Give you that. Just… a quick word with Rose, if I may."

Rose stiffened, more alarmed than him. The Doctor hiding things from himself was a bloodcurdling concept to grasp. Still, she nodded courtly, coaxing Nine. "Just as long as you promise to _stay_."

"Didn't we go over this already? I _promise_." He smiled playfully for the last time, before leaving the room.

Ten never broke his gaze from hers, grave and terrified. "I, uh…" he stopped, bit his lip, rephrased the words in his brain, "I know you miss him, Rose, so this is my gift to you: if you tell him about the future now, just about the Daleks, nothing more, you can change it without creating a wound in time."

She narrowed her eyes, "Sounds like a lie, if you ask me."

"I don't lie!" he claimed. "I told you before, _I_ can change the future if I know what I'm doing, and I _always_ know what I'm doing." Two lies in one sentence, three in two sentences. Impressive. Satellite 5, or Gamestation, was a terrific example of him almost destroying the entire world. And yet, there he was, offering her completion at the risk of destroying time again.

Rose winced back, as if only then realizing what he was talking about, "You're serious?"

"Deadly."

"Just… tell him?"

He tried to lighten the mood, but his grin didn't hold the same exuberance as ever, "Astutely, if you can."

"But," her face turned paler than snow, "But, you'll… you won't…"

He shook his hand, relieved that it even occurred to her. Someone else might have gone to Nine already and told him everything. "No, not for a while, anyway."

But would he regenerate into himself when the time came? Or was it like childbirth; the exact moment and the exact combination of genes to create just that person. Any other combination might lead to different results.

She realized it didn't matter, she didn't want to lose this one either. She loved him. Differently; more sexually, but nonetheless. "What would happen?" she asked, just in case.

His face fell, like he was hoping she'd refuse right away, "He'll go back to his TARDIS and time would go from there. We'll both disappear. I assume he'll remember, but I really can't be sure. After that, all's go and fair and…"

"I can't do that," she stated simply.

They stared at each other for moments that stretched, passing on implication and feelings they could never utter out loud. "Are you sure?" he asked, "It'd be the last chance."

"I…" _love you both_, "You're both my Doctors. It's not fair."

"If you say yes, you'll forget all about me. If you say no, you'll never stop wondering."

"But I _can't_!"

The TARDIS hummed in protest, almost knocking Rose over.

The Doctor frowned, "Rose?"

"What was that?"

"Uh… you were conflicted and emotional?" he tried.

She rolled her eyes, "No. I meant the TARDIS, it did something."

She expected a sneer, but instead, the Doctor frowned pensively, forever unpredictable, "I didn't feel anything. It's possible she was sending you some kind of telepathic wave. She does that sometimes. Did it _say_ anything, feel like anything?"

Rose crinkled her nose adorably, "Sounded like… I dunno, protest? Does that make sense?"

The Doctor averted his gaze from her expectant stare. He hated being the martyr when it came to Rose, but she deserved the chance to save _her_ Doctor. "Probably nothing, I'd shake it off if I were you. The TARDIS usually isn't much in favor of changing history, she still remembers what happened last time." The last part was said with a grin that did not go unreturned.

The TARDIS jolted again, and this time they both felt it.

The Doctor looked around suspiciously, unconsciously shifting closer to Rose, "Let's go find my other daft self, huh? Go on, then."

They walked back, hand in hand. Nine stood there, by the exit, clutching the handle but never daring to open the door and walk away entirely from Rose's future.

"Doctor!" Rose called, "What are you doing? Step away from that door!"

Nine jumped back, embarrassed at being caught. "Right, sorry," he murmured, already walking back to her, cursing himself mentally for not just leaving, ripping off the band-aid. "Old habits die hard, I guess. I will have to leave eventually, though, I'm afraid. My Rose's bound to come back _sometimes._"

Ten glanced at Rose, scared about her decision more than he would have liked to admit, but Rose's eyes stayed fixed on his former's.

"Sometimes soon, 'f memory serves," Rose said hoarsely.

Once again, she closed the gap between them. "I can't believe this," she murmured, bringing her hands to cup his face, smiling tenderly between fresh tears. She planted a tender kiss on his forehead, "I'll never forget you, Doctor. No matter what happens."

The Doctor smiled, taking her in, "My Rose Tyler, look at you." He mimicked her moves, his kiss lingering longer, "I'm so proud of you."

"Try not to die too soon, okay?"

He chuckled, "You too."

Both crying freely now, they hugged for the very last time, neither brave enough to let go. Still holding onto Rose, Nine nodded at his newer version, who nodded back, looking shocked beyond words at something Nine didn't have the presence of mind to wonder too much about.

Ten quickly looked away, clearing his throat, relieved now, "Huh… Sorry, but… if you don't leave now…"

"Right," Nine said emptily. He kissed Rose's forehead once more, trying to take comfort on the fact that she was out there, waiting for him, and that she was his future. "Goodbye, Rose," he said, taking a deep breath before leaving quickly, afraid to turn back.

The TARDIS hummed in goodbye and detached, growling her way back to reality.

"I think the TARDIS did this for me," Rose murmured, staring at the door.

A warm hand was gently placed on her shoulder.

"I think so, too," he said. "She does that." Rose nodded absently, and for a moment they stood still, moving past. The Doctor shifted, trying to convince himself to shut his mouth just that once, not press the button that should never be pressed. Didn't work, as usual. "You didn't… didn't say anything," he whispered carefully, almost shivering.

She shrugged, turning her head a little, enough for him to catch a glimpse of her face, where she usually wore her heart. There were tears, of course, but a little bit of a smile, and he was almost flying.

"Din't feel right," she whispered back, turning to him entirely.

He wrapped his arms around her vigorously, spinning her until they were both lightheaded and Rose was actually _laughing_ through her grief. Everything inside the Doctor screamed that this was _fantastic_, but he knew better than to voice the sentiment out loud so early after. Instead, he asked, "Ever been to the 1950s, Rose?"

She raised her eyebrows, grinning at his sweet attempt to cheer her up, "Not of late, no."

Rubbing his palms in satisfaction, the Doctor announced cheerfully, "Well, that's just _unacceptable_! Go on, go get all dressed up, I'll take you somewhere nice."

Her eyes lightened, pushing the grief back for late at night when she was alone. "Where are we going?"

He shook his head firmly, "No, no! It's a surprise!" She pouted, and he resisted her with considerable effort, "Allons-y, Rose! Something pink and flowery, big sunglasses, you know the drill, you've seen the pictures."

"Oh, alright!" she huffed, planting a kiss on his cheek that had him smiling bigger than his face, "But only because I trust you. Should I bring a backpack with some other clothes, though? You know, in case we end up in the 1590s and I'm all naked again?"

"Excuse me! Twice that happened!"

"That's twice too many for a Time Lord, 'f you ask me."

"I think we might go to those Witch Hunts after all, see how _rude_ you are when you need to be rescued from the stake."

She giggled, "We'd probably end up on a Chula pizza place, mid November, year 5 million?."

A rag magically appeared next to him, begging to be tossed about, and he did, hitting her square in the head in his best way of saying _welcome back_. Rose let out a girlish squeal and chucked a ball of string, which had also magically appeared next to her, back at him – her way of saying _I was never really gone_ – before disappearing from view.

The Doctor leaned back, grasping at the strange ball of string, and the smile that was already impossibly big only got bigger and more radiant. The TARDIS stirred the ship, hopefully to late 50s New York, though who knew with her, while the Doctor, ridiculously overjoyed, went to look for the blue scooter he remembered he had somewhere around.

Crisis evaded, _brilliant._

The End.

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Fancy leaving a REAVIEW? Oh, you know you do. Especially if I keep writing it in bold like this: REVIEW, please. Or in italics, please _review_. I'm nervous about this story, I'd really like to know what you think.


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